


Beloved and Blackbird

by Higgystar



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen, mentions of domestic abuse, twd kink meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 16:06:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgystar/pseuds/Higgystar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from the kink meme: What's the story behind Daryl's angel wing vest?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beloved and Blackbird

Kicking at the bottom step of the porch Daryl sighs deeply, leaning on his knees and huffing out his annoyance. Merle would be home soon, then he could ask him what he wanted to know since his parents had no answers for him. Mom had merely shrugged, puffing on her cigarette, sipping at her wine and stroking through his hair in that way she always did when she didn’t want know what to say. The sound of his father coming down the stairs had made her gulp down the wine faster, and steer him towards the door with a tight smile, as if he didn’t know what would happen if he stayed. There had been no point arguing so now here he was, sitting on the porch step and waiting for Merle to get back from his latest job.

The sound of the old truck coming up the road makes him sit up straighter, looking down the dirt path and grinning when he sees Merle driving his way, halfway hanging out the window with a cigarette already halfway spent. To his eight year old mind Merle had all the answers, there was nothing that his big brother didn’t know or couldn’t do. So there was no way he’d be left disappointed.

“Merle!” Hopping off the steps he heads over to the truck before it’s even parked up, opening the door and trying to climb in before the engine can be switched off. “Hey Merle I gotta ask you somethin’”

“Hold your horses lil brother.” Merle chuckles, turning off the truck and waving for Daryl to get out of the way before sliding out of the truck and grabbing his bag. Daryl follows at a trot, yanking at the corner of Merle’s vest when he goes to enter the house and shaking his head solemnly. For what it’s worth Merle doesn’t question it and instead moves to sit with him back on the porch steps. “You look like you’re about to burst boy.”

Daryl throws himself beside him, enjoying the cigarette smoke smell, so used to it and finding it more comforting than choking. “At school today we had to tell everyone what our names meant and I didn’t know what mine meant.” He explains, sighing a little at what a trial such a situation was for him in a way only a kid could. “Mom don’t know neither and I can’t find no name books anywhere. You know what Daryl means don’t you?”

Merle puffs on his cigarette, flicking the butt into the dirt and grinding it out with his heel. “I know what Merle means. Means ‘blackbird’.”

“Like the animal?”

“Like the animal. It’s why I’ve got the wings on my vest.” Turning to the side Merle shows off his vest, the one piece of clothing Daryl knows won’t be handed down to him when he gets older. Running his fingers over the fabric Daryl nods, tracing the lines of the black wings sewn onto the leather, feeling the fabric and the way they lay across Merle’s back. “I got them coz I know who I am. I know who Merle is and that I can’t be caged, I’m free like a blackbird you understand?”

“An’ wild?” He asks when Merle turns back around, a grin on his face and laugh in his eyes.

“You’re damn right.” Merle agrees, ruffling his hair roughly and pushing him in a way that Daryl’s taken to be a sign of affection where others would see it as mean. “Now so far as I know Daryl means two things, or so mom told me when you was born.”

“Tell me! What’s it mean?” His fingers grasp at Merle’s arm, desperate for an answer.

“Well meaning number one is ‘little deer’.”

Daryl sneers at that, thinking of the fawns he’s seen slung over Merle’s shoulder after being shot in the head. No, that wasn’t strong and free like Merle’s blackbird was, little deer was weak and stupid. “I ain’t no deer, deer is dinner not strong.” He slumps back, letting go of Merle’s arm to huff a little that he didn’t get the answer he wanted.

“Well there is another meaning. The meaning mom liked when she chose it for you. Well. When she chose it for the baby girl Darylina you was meant to be.” Merle’s teasing him again, picking on the fact the doctor was sure he’d be a girl when he was born.

“I ain’t no girl Merle!” He yells for what feels like the hundredth time, shoving at his brother in annoyance.

“Well Daryl means the same as Darylina, so you got the same meaning anyhow. Mom liked the meaning most, that’s why she kept it kinda the same. Surprised she don’t remember.” Merle muses, shrugging to himself before settling back on his hands, Daryl copying him to his side. “Daryl means ‘beloved’.”

He sneers at that, feeling maybe little deer was better after all. “That’s girly and weak. My name sucks.” Kicking at the dirt he huffs again, moving to fold his arms and let his displeasure be known. “I wanted a cool meaning like yours.” He knows Merle doesn’t get it, that he’d think he was being stupid ‘cause he was a kid, but Merle just didn’t get it!

“Hey it’s a nice enough meaning.” Merle shrugs, lighting another cigarette. “Mom picked it specially for you so you should like it.”

Hearing the back door slam against the wall and the stumbling steps of their father mixed with his yelling Daryl figures the coast is clear to go back inside. Their father glares at them as he moves past, snatching the truck keys from Merle’s outstretched hand before stumbling towards the truck. Standing up Daryl shrugs off the hand Merle had placed on his shoulder when their father had appeared, turning on his heel and heading back indoors. “Stupid name, ain’t never gonna have a cool vest.” What would he have? Pink love hearts? Flowers and girly writing with glitter all over it? There was no hope, he’d never get a cool vest like Merle’s.

Grumbling into his pillow on his bed he spends the rest of the evening alone, not wanting to see the bruises on mom’s face or the resigned look in Merle’s eyes. He’d rather be alone than have to deal with that and besides he was too weak and girly according to his name.

\---

It’s a couple of weeks later that Daryl finds the package on his bed after school, wrapped in old newspaper hastily and without any sign of what it could be. Of course he’s suspicious, Merle’s played pranks on him before and he didn’t know exactly what his father’s latest game might be. But it doesn’t smell dead and he’s hopeful that it’s not going to hurt him should he unwrap it. Still doesn’t mean he isn’t careful.

Quickly whipping away the newspaper the contents flop onto his bed, heavy and dark against the sheets. It takes him a moment to unravel it, spreading it out on his bed so he could see exactly what it was. When it sinks in he can’t stop himself from grinning ear to ear, grabbing the vest and running his fingers over the white wings that lay stitched on the back. It’s almost exactly like Merle’s except for the colour of the wings, it was perfect and everything he’s always wanted.

Picking up a scrap of paper that had fallen to the floor he reads the hasty scribble, unable to stop smiling as he tugs on the too big vest over his shirt. _For when you’re older._ The paper states in Merle’s untidy scrawl and Daryl is more than happy that this is something that will fit him for years to come and he can keep forever.

The thought that had gone into it was pretty cool, the fact it looked like Merle’s and showed a link between them made him love it even more. Sure he and Merle didn’t get all gooey with words and everything, but they were close and now this could show it in a way that wasn’t too girly, but was cool instead. Like they were linked in a way stronger than blood, the two of them against the world. Plus it said ‘beloved’ in a way that wasn’t prissy that he could show with pride and know that Merle liked the meaning behind his name.

Yes he was beloved, but now he had his own wings and could be as free and wild as Merle. He’s not a blackbird, not by a long shot, but he’s young, fresh and strong like an angel. The fact that Merle knew exactly what he wanted, a way to show his name without being seen to be weak just showed their connection as brothers forever. Because the vest said more than him just being beloved.

It said he was a Dixon.


End file.
